


Exhale To Breathe

by Taudi



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, First Meetings, Fluff, Healing, KakaIru Exchange 2020, M/M, Magical Iruka, No Angst, Smoking, cuteness, nothing is explained, only a little
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-19 09:07:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29748180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taudi/pseuds/Taudi
Summary: Kakashi's life slowly changes after a witch moves into apartment number 6.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka
Comments: 3
Kudos: 77
Collections: A Very Special KakaIru Exchange!





	Exhale To Breathe

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pastles](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pastles/gifts).



The sky is heavy with dark clouds that are surrounded by thin lines of yellow light. It brings a strange glow to an otherwise dreary morning. Kakashi closes his eyes briefly, listens to the slight drizzle of rain and the splashes of water from his neighbour’s broken drain pipe.

He takes a deep drag from his cigarette and leans his elbows on the railing of his small balcony. A woman is carrying a green umbrella walking with a child, down in the courtyard. The little boy jumps in every puddle they pass, waterproof in his rain clothes and boots. They don't seem to be in a hurry and the woman laughs with encouragement every time the boy makes a particularly high jump. Kakashi exhales the smoke from his lungs doesn't fight a smile. 

It's when he's scratching at the black chipped nail polish on his thumb that he hears a low shrill meow. He looks up and sees a small dark sphynx cat, balancing effortlessly on the thin metal railing. Today it's wearing a puffy blue coat with fish-shaped faux buttons.

"Well, good morning to you too," Kakashi says and snorts when the cat struts towards him, tail held high.

He gives it a two-fingered scratch under the chin and feels the purring start under his fingertips.

Kakashi doesn't know who owns the cat. He just knows it started showing up six months ago, climbing onto his balcony demanding pets and rubbing its soft head against anything in reach in return.

But someone most takes great care of it since he rarely sees it without some kind of clothing on. That's the reason why he doesn’t feed it, or let it inside, when it comes to the closed balcony door, sitting in front of the glass looking at him and mewling sadly. And he always scoops it out when it sneaks its way inside.

Kakashi takes another air of smoke into his lungs and lets it go carefully, blowing it away from the cat. They both watch the glimmery peach coloured smoke disappear in the soft rain.

Kakashi glances over at another balcony to the right. It's far different from his own, almost empty one. There are plants and glass crystals in all shapes and colours, hanging down from the overhang created by the balcony above.

Kakashi knows there are even more plants and herbs and trinkets scattered around on the floor. But there isn't an Iruka puttering around as Kakashi had hoped. He would always wave excitedly at Kakashi with a smile so big that not even the distance could hide it. Sometimes Iruka just yelled food and Kakashi slumped himself over to a full breakfast table ready for two.

The cat leans with its entire weight on Kakashi’s arm, still purring. Well, this was an okay way to start the day too.

Iruka was… something else. The witch in number six is what the neighbourhood calls him but not in a bad way. It was said fondly and respectfully. Everyone was happy to have a white witch nearby. It was said they brought good luck and wellness with them and Iruka seemed to be very competent. 

Kakashi was convinced the air had become a little brighter and a little sweeter with every box of belongings Iruka and a loudmouthed boy had carried up the stairs, bickering good-naturedly the whole time. Kakashi had watched them from where he sat cross-legged next to his door, smoking.

By the tenth pass by Iruka had stopped and looked at him. His dark eyes squinting, "Do you want to help?"

"No, thank you." Declined Kakashi and exhaled a plume of smoke.

"Polite but unhelpful. I can respect that. I'm Umino Iruka." He said and bowed.

Kakashi just gave a simple finger wave in return.

"And, apparently, the politeness has a limit." His laughter is warm and crisp.

"I'll cook you ramen for when you're done, to make up for it." Kakashi offered. A little surprised by himself. His heart wasn't pounding in his chest by the idea of spending time with a stranger. His hands were dry, too.

"Oh, okay. That's very kind of you, actually." Iruka squinted at him again, it seemed like he was searching for something. "You really don't have to." 

"Maaa, I could be a horrible cook."

"I know you're not," Iruka said with certainty. 

"It's a date then." Kakashi stood up fluidly, not bothered by his hour-long hunkering on a cold concrete floor and then he flinched when a loud crash came from the direction of the stairs.

"Narutoooo!"

There is nothing exciting about the neighbourhood, which makes Kakashi stand out like the aesthetically pleasing emo he is. The rent is somewhat cheap and the old couple, who owns the building, are sweet to all their tenants. Even though Kakashi had the money to buy his own apartment years ago, he doesn't want to. 

He loves his cramped but cosy one-room apartment with a kitchen and bathroom large enough for his needs. There is one problem. Six months ago strangers started knocking on his door at odd hours of the day.

"Hmph?" Is what Kakashi managed to mumble through his mask squinting at the frazzled young woman standing in front of him.

"H-hi. Umino-san? I… I have an appointment." Her eyes are wide and watery, and she is clutching her bag with a white-knuckled grip.

Kakashi takes a quick look at his door and sighs. With a lazy finger, he turns the door number from a 6 to a 9.

"The even numbers are around the corner to your right."

"Oh, I’m so sorry!"

"It's okay." Reassures Kakashi. Because it is, now. In the beginning, it freaked him out.

The woman bows and hurriedly makes her way around the corner.

Approximately four hours later Kakashi sits on the floor at the low table in Iruka's living room, watching him slurping on the homemade ramen Kakashi brought. Iruka’s hair is tied in a sloppy bun and the loose, almost see-through, cream shirt he's wearing has the top buttons undone, giving Kakashi a teasing view of soft dark skin and a hint of a firm chest.

"Is she okay?"

"Mmwo?" Iruka says absentmindedly through the food in his mouth. There is a glob of teriyaki sauce on his chin. Kakashi wipes it away gently with the cheap napkins from the takeaway bag. Iruka does something with his mouth that, maybe, was supposed to be a smile but just makes him look like one of those gerbils storing food in their cheeks.

"You had an appointment around three. She knocked on my door first. She seemed sad."

Iruka looks down and fiddles with his chopsticks. A minute goes by as he chews his food.

"I think she will be. I can't really talk about it."

It's fine. I was just a little worried."

Iruka reaches over, taking Kakashi's hand and giving it a small squeeze.

"You're such a cinnamon roll under all that smudged eyeliner."

Kakashi makes a face of disgust and undoes Iruka's bun as he hunches over the table with laughter. Kakashi laughs at Iruka's squawk when the tips of his hair dip into the ramen soup.

They are standing at the waist-high wooden table that Iruka usually has against a wall. He would roll it near the kitchen so he had an island to work on. Iruka is measuring a dried, ground powder into medium-sized old-styled medicine glass containers, while Kakashi sits on a bar stool, diligently tying string and small tags with ingredients, written in Iruka's neat handwriting, around the necks of the containers.

“Kakashi?"

“Hmmm?” He doesn't look up, focused on tying a perfect bow with the coarse string.

There is a loud clunk and Kakashi looks up startled. Iruka has dropped the counterweight he was using. The antique weight is out of balance with the powder still in the brass tray.

“You don’t have to answer. I just..." He sighs, "I can help, maybe."

“Help with what?" Kakashi goes back to his task, having an inkling of where this is going.

“Your curse. Do you know who and why?"

Kakashi jolts. Everything around him seems to shrink and blur out. He fumbles with the glass container and it tips on its side the string bow coming undone.

Before Kakashi can do anything, like fleeing or maybe put his head in one of Iruka’s plants, warm hands are running down his shoulders stopping at the elbows and holding on firmly.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay" And it is. Kakashi curls a hand in Iruka’s shirt sleeve needing to have something to fidget with.

No. I sprung that on you.”

Kakashi takes a deep breath, “it... it was a dying wish. They said I was the most cold-hearted person they'd ever met." Kakashi shrugs to hide his discomfort but doesn’t let go.

“Oh, Kakashi." Iruka eyes are wet, almost spilling over. There is no pity in his voice, just sadness and understanding.

Kakashi shrugs again, "I’m dealing with it."

“Are you? Truly?" 

Kakashi shakes his head, "but I’m trying. And being with you has helped. A lot"

It's true. Kakashi has been keeping to himself for five years, rarely leaving his apartment from fear. No one but his doctor and the witch making his blunts knows the full scale of his curse. Not even Asuma and Kurenai. You can’t cure a dying wish, you can only live with it.

But Iruka has become a kind of comfort and safety he hasn't felt in years. Lying has always been easy but not when it truly mattered. And Iruka mattered. 

Iruka smiles. the tips of his scars pulling at the soft skin on his cheeks. He's still leaning awkwardly over the table but doesn’t move away.

"They didn't know you at all." He says as a tear finally spills over and runs down his cheek.

Iruka’s apartment is bigger than Kakashi's, with a bedroom and an extra room he uses for more delicate clients. There are plants and strings of different crystals hanging from the ceiling bringing colour to an otherwise simple decorating that leans to the practical and comfortable. 

As soon as Kakashi enters he breathes differently. It’s as if he's suddenly able to get air to all parts of his lungs. Even though Iruka has incense burning and cleanses the apartment with a burning sage stick once a week, the air is as fresh and clean as the first inhale on a winter's day, where it’s dropped below zero.

Iruka is standing in his kitchen at the portable table island grinding what smells like dried rosemary. Its where he spends most of his time when he has walk-in appointments for easier services.

“Kakashi." He exclaims when he sees him, "I didn't expect to see you today."

"Maaa, Asuma cancelled on me." Kakashi pouts. The scurrying sound of stone on stone stops

“It’s fine we already rescheduled."

“But you were looking forward to it. I didn’t even have to help you talk through horror scenarios." Iruka is smiling and Kakashi can’t help but smile back.

From anyone else, Kakashi would take it as mockery but Iruka has become a person he talks to whenever something he has to do or make a decision about gets twisted inside his head.

It doesn't always help to talk about it. It doesn't always make him not cancel or say yes to some of the spontaneous things his friends invite him to. But Iruka has helped Kakashi be more aware that that's okay too. That it’s good to get it outside of his thoughts so he doesn't have to walk around with his heart pounding for days because his brain goes into panic mode.

He sometimes feels like a popped balloon, when someone cancelled plans and all the tension building in his body deflated and made him sleep the day away. Today he'd done other things instead. simple things, yes, but it had been nice. 

"I repainted my nails." Kakashi shows off his right hand and the shiny new black nails, "and I bought dumplings for us. Thought maybe we could have lunch together if you didn't have a client." He shows off the flimsy plastic bag in his left hand that’s filled with containers.

Iruka lets go of the morsel and marches past Kakashi without a word and a stern look on his face.

“Iruka?" Kakashi calls confused when he hears the small bells at the front door chime. Iruka returns quickly after the second chime.

"Had to turn the sign so we won't be disturbed." He grins and takes the bag of food.

They set up at the living room table, sitting on big pillows on the floor.

"My door number is wrong again," Kakashi mentions as he dips a plump dumpling in a cup of Goma."I should be hired as a tour guide or something. I can have a customized cap made, take it on when they knock and show the way to Umino Iruka, witch extraordinaire."  
Kakashi sweeps an arm out in a grand gesture and wiggles his chopsticks.

Iruka doesn’t laugh as he expected. He just looks at Kakashi almost fondly.

"Y'know, the first few times it happened and you came here I could only see this." He gestures to the area around his right eye. "And you were visibly shaking. Even the tips of your hair were moving. I thought you were very brave."

Kakashi runs a hand through his hair embarrassed. It’s not as gravity-defying today and he didn’t bother to wear his usual mask or eyepatch. The clothes are still all black but it's only a t-shirt and tight jeans.

The cursed mark branded on his right eye is fully visible. He’s not completely blind but the mark sank deep and made significant damage so he only sees shades of blurry light. It's still messing with his depth perception which is why his apartment barely has any trinkets on the surfaces he uses. He also stopped eating in restaurants after too many spilt glasses. 

"I didn't mind," Kakashi says and fiddles with the uneaten dumpling to avoid the smile Iruka is sending him.

The sphynx joins him on the third sleepless night. from the dim light still turned on inside the apartment he can see It's wearing a knitted forest green sweater with a turtleneck.

Kakashi just watches as it slinks closer silently. He's curled up on a big bean bag on the balcony trying to get some fresh air while he smokes a cigarette. It’s a chilly night with a clear sky though the stars aren’t visible because of the city lights.

The sphynx crawls up on the bean bag, over Kakashi’s legs and settles in the small space against his chest. When Kakashi reaches to scratch behind an ear it rears its head back and dumps something from its mouth into his palm.

The cat stares at him and Kakashi stares back. 

"Please don't be something dead and half-eaten." He sighs and takes a peak. It's a turquoise piece of sea glass. It’s rubbed completely smooth and there's a hole drilled into one of the ends.

"Did you steal this from Iruka?" It does look like one of the pieces hanging from Irukas ceiling. Kakashi wouldn't even know what sea glass looked like if he didn't spend half his time at the witch's place.

The sphynx ignores him and snuggles itself into Kakashi’s body, its sweater warm from body heat.

Kakashi lets it be and takes the last drags of his cigarette while absentmindedly rubbing the sea glass in his hand. He falls asleep as the first rays of sunlight appear in the sky. 

It's cold. He's cold. No not cold. Frozen. It's like he’s encapsulated in ice. Like one of those mammoths who's peeking out of the snow after thousands of years. Just a big lump laying on the bed waiting to be thawed.  
He's covered in clothes he knows are meant to keep you warm. Wollen socks, fleece-lined leggings and as many sweaters he could manage to pull over his head before the shaking got too bad.  
He even has gloves on and a fur-coated cap.

There was a small relief with the heated blanket but the timer shut off a while ago. He's tempted to turn it on again but that's against the rules. He has to follow the emergency plan. No type of heating source except the heated blanket, which is only allowed to be on until the automatic timer turns it off.

The puckered scars on his body have become a subtle reminder of why and Kakashi clings to it. He doesn't want any more third-degree burns curling his skin together painfully. It's not cool either, to say he got them from hugging a scorching radiator for hours.

So he tries. He tries to tell himself it's not real. That his untucked hair is wet because of sweat. That if anyone else touched him right now he would be the scorching hot heat source. That the birds are chirping happily because it's a warm spring day. He can't stop the tears, though, and he doesn't, letting the sobs blend in with his already rattling teeth.

Something is tucking on the string on his cap and Kakashi startles a little, opening his eyes to a bedroom that's still covered in sunlight. He's been half unconscious from exhaustion and he just wants to pass out.

The tucking becomes a nip to his nose peeking out from the scarf around his neck and, on the bed, peering down at him is the dark Sphynx. It's not wearing anything besides its wrinkled smooth skin. It forces its way, head first, inside Kakashi’s blanket borough.

"Hey." Kakashi protests weakly when he gets slapped in the face by a tail. It wiggles around until its head pops out. There's an almost angry look in its yellow eyes and one of the ears is twitching.

It finally settles on Kakashi’s chest and its only when Kakashi hesitantly wraps his arms around the small body, that it starts kneading its little paws into his sweater. The purring begins when Kakashi runs his hand down its soft back. He's surprised to feel thin fur and not just skin.

"Oh." Is all he mumbles when warmth starts to trickle out in his body from somewhere inside. It's never been like that before. The warmth usually starts from the outside and seeps in, often taking days before he feels somewhat normal.

He sighs in relief when the shaking slowly stops. He falls asleep nuzzling a big warm cat ear, surrounded by the soothing sound of purring. 

Kakashi doesn’t wake up. It’s more of a gentle slide into consciousness where his body is grounded firmly in the bed. He can feel the pillow under his head and the heavyweight blanket around his body that Kurenai gifted him last year. His mind is floating in soft haziness, only coming to awareness gradually. There’s a sound of piano music but it's muffled and distant like someone is playing underwater, and Kakashi can only hear half of the keys being played.

The old digital clock on his nightstand is showing him that he's only been sleeping for two minutes, which feels odd.  
Kakashi snuffles himself up tiredly and grunts when the weighted blanket slides down into his lap. He realizes he's only wearing one of his worn hoodies and sweatpants.

From what he remembers he had at least 5 layers of clothing on. The cat is gone too, he notices. He sits quietly mentally preparing to get out of bed. Unfortunately, the urge to pee wins out and he crawls off the bed after a brief struggle with the blanket.  
The piano music gets louder and defined when he opens the bedroom door. His need to be is forgotten when he pads towards the livingroom curiously.

Kakashi stops and blinks in confusion because Iruka is standing in his kitchen, with his shirt sleeves pulled up to his elbows. He's working on what Kakashi guesses are dough.

"Iruka?"

"You had an episode." It’s not a question.

"Uhm… yes," Kakashi admits and nervously rubs the back of his neck.

Iruka is kneading the dough more aggressively and Kakashi is maybe a little concerned for its safety.

Iruka stops abruptly. The dough is squishing through his fingers as he squeezes it brutally. "Shizune is amazing but I know I can make them better. Can we please start the process of shifting you to my care?" Iruka doesn’t look at him and wipes his eyes with the back of his dough covered hand before any tears fall. “Please.”

Kakashi moves closer and wipes away the flour on Irukas cheeks.

"Okay, I'll make an appointment with Tsunade," Kakashi promises, with every intention to do so. Even though phone calls make his heart pound painfully and his mind racing with wild scenarios that, in the end, make him stutter and say weird things when the person on the other side finally picks up. It even happens when he has to call his friends. 

"I can… I can go with you if you want, and help with the phone call."

Kakashi snorts in amusement. Iruka already knows him too well. 

"And you call me next time." Iruka grabs onto his black hoodie smearing flour everywhere. Kakashi doesn't mention it, just wraps his arms around Iruka and holds on tight.

"I will." He whispers into Iruka’s dark hair

Kakashi is walking home from a lovely evening with Asuma, Kurenai and Shikamaru, whos a silent companion on the short trip. 

Kurenai had kept packing bags of food and other necessities for Kakashi and in the end, Shikamaru offered to help him carry it home.  
Kakashi didn't really need the help anymore but some habits were hard to stop and Kurenai just needed some time to process. 

She had been the one finding his home empty of food after a month of sparse contact where Kakashi had avoided telling them he hadn't left his apartment at all. He had also been a lot skinnier.

Kurenai had started a grocery delivery plan after that and she'd sent him home with everything she could when he was able to visit. 

It didn't take them long to reach the building and Kakashi chuckled when Shikamaru huffed about the weight of the bags when they climbed the metal stairs.

"Thank you for helping me," Kakashi says. He lets go of some of the bags to find his keys in his pocket.

"You do know there's a spell on your door, right?" Shikamaru asks in his bored tone and scrunches his nose as he looks at the number on Kakashi’s door.

"There is?"

"Yeah. It’s weak. Smells like a prank." Shikamaru leans in closer and sniffs the door. "It's nothing harmful."

"A prank smells?" Kakashi blinks and sniffs too but he can only smell the fabric of his mask.

Shikamaru nods "It's a very distinctive smell."

"The number does a 180. I tried everything to secure it after the landlord changed it two times."

"You mentioned a witch moved in some time ago? Maybe he can help. It's strange he hasn't already."

Kakashi finally manages to get his keys and he slots one into the lock. "I’ll ask him." 

"All right, well then, goodnight Kakashi-san. It was nice seeing you again." Shikamaru walks toward the stairs and makes a lazy wave.

"Have a good trip home." He whisper-yells so he doesn’t disturb the neighbours.

Kakashi watches the number on his door willing it to move. A spell, huh?

It's when he finally gets inside and closes the door that he catches a glance of the sphynx cat sitting on the railing but it disappears before Kakashi can see what type of sweater it has on this time. 

Sakura and Kakashi are helping Iruka package some of his online orders. At first, Kakashi was afraid of doing something wrong but Iruka assured him that his cluelessness about the product help them be uncontaminated. Kakashi still doesn’t know what to think of that.

Naruto is in the living room printing the address labels and having a fight with the label machine it seems. He’s somehow gotten a bunch of failed prints stuck to his clothes.

“Did you have a nice date yesterday, Hatake-san?” Sakura asks as she’s wrapping a dream catcher neatly.

“Yes, Sakura. It was very nice. Thank you for the suggestion.”

The young woman practically beams at the praise. Iruka on the other hand looks crestfallen. 

“You had a date?” 

Kakashi frowns and stops Iruka from tearing apart the tissue paper in his hand.

“Did you accidentally ingest one of your memory concoctions? We spent the whole day together.”

“What… We're not... dating what. We haven’t even kissed.” Iruka is flustered. His eyes are wide and round in shock. 

“You don’t need to kiss to be dating.” Kakashi scowls not really knowing what’s going on.

Iruka’s mood suddenly shifts, most likely sensing Kakashi's mood “No, but it would have been nice.”

“And that is our cue to take a break.”

Both Kakashi and Iruka jump, startled by Sakura’s interruption. None of them manages to say a word as she drags a complaining Naruto out of the apartment. It’s a tiny bit awkward after that. 

Iruka is the first to break the silence. “You thought we were dating?”

Kakashi nods. He feels a bit stupid.

“It’s really something you should have a proper conversation about.” Iruka doesn't sound mad but Kakashi knows he’s right. 

“I know. I know… I think I relied too much on your magic intuition. I'm sorry.”

“No, Kakashi. Don’t apologise.” Iruka walks up to where Kakashi is sitting, taking one of his hands and caressing the pale skin softly. “I think I've relied on it too much with you, too.”

“So more communication and less Witch Extraordinaire?” Kakashi grins delightedly when Iruka chuckles at his bad attempt at humour.

“Yes and more kisses,” Iruka murmurs as he leans closer cupping Kakashi’s face.  
Kakashi closes the gap between their lips and he doesn’t even feel embarrassed when he audibly sighs in contentment. 

Before it evolves into something more, Kakashi pulls back smiling when Iruka protests.

“Maybe you can remove the spell on my door now? It’s pretty lame you had me come to you when you were the one who wanted to see me.”

Kakashi laughs when Iruka’s cheeks go bright red and he laughs as he peppers the adorable flush in kisses and he listens when Iruka tells him that’s not why he did it

Kakashi knows it’s not. It was just a simple way to ease back into the world at his own pace.

As a witch, Iruka does keep secrets and after a nice cuddle session on the couch, he comes clean about the mysterious sphynx appearing whenever Kakashi needed it.

“But why a naked cat.”

"That's your fault." Iruka huffs with a pout and crosses his arms. "I don't have a permanent cat form. I transform into whatever type a person needs."

"So I need you naked?" Kakashi asks confused, ignoring the warmth in his face.

"What! No!" Iruka hits Kakashi in the chest. His ears get suspiciously flushed. "A sphynx has a dog-like personality, which fits with you being a dog person and the no fur thing is because you have incredibly sensitive skin. You baby."

"I do not." Kakashi protests.

"You get sunburned in the shadow, Kakashi." Iruka is grinning and pinches Kakashi’s cheek

"My skin did itch constantly when I had Pakkun." 

He had loved Pakkun when he got him as a teenager, thinking it would be the start of a life as a person who’d have dogs until he died. But the itching started when the shedded fur began to creep into his clothes and sheets and everywhere else. He endured for ten years until Pakkun died and now the very idea of any kind of furry animal in his home makes his skin tingle unpleasantly.

Iruka laughs and boops his nose. "See, it's perfectly tailored to you."

"I still think the naked part isn’t about me being sensitive to fur ." 

Iruka's outrage is glorious and so is his struggle to stop Kakashi from hunting after all the cute cat sweaters.

**Author's Note:**

> Dear pastles. I hope you like the story. It didn't come easy this time around but I still love what I managed to create :)  
> So thank you for the prompts.
> 
> And thank you to the Kakairufest mods who are wonderful, as always.


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